What men should and shouldn’t do after divorce

Admin 9:37 pm

Breaking up or going through a divorce is one of the most emotionally painful periods a person can experience. You are in an extremely vulnerable state and you feel like your whole world is crashing down upon you. A lot of people go through it every year, and while most people come out of it a stronger, wiser and better person, there are a few who become sheltered and reserved as a result of the split.

Do not :

If your partner broke up with you, do not attempt to make contact with the person. No calling, texting, stalking her social media profiles etc.

It is time to be mentally strong. Do not go into self-destruction mode thinking how you’re never going to get over them, or how you’ll never find someone like that again. Additionally, do not neglect your health and appearance. Bad habits like not eating right, and drowning your sorrows in alcohol will only do more harm than good. It is always important to take good care of yourself, look proper, eat right, exercise and engage in fun activities. This will help distract your mind and help you feel better about yourself.

While this last point can be a mixed bag with differing opinions, I personally would not recommend going onto dating sites/apps like tinder and okcupid. You’re not in the right mindset yet since the split just happened, you might get reminded of your ex, and it might further worsen your mood if you get rejected or no-replies.

 

Do :

Cutting contact with your ex is a good way to move forward. Since they broke up with you, chances are they probably aren’t sitting around thinking “I wish they’d text or call me so we can get back together”. Do yourself a favor and do not initiate contact with your ex. People tend to think “ok we’ll just be friends”, but that is not a game you would want to play. It rarely ends well because your ex might not reply you, might say some hurtful things, or you find out they’ve moved on with someone else. In any case, these could hurt you so it is safer to stay away from them.

If you think you won’t ever find anyone exactly like her, that’s great ! That’s the whole point anyway – to find someone who will stick with you through thick and thin. Someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. You may find someone similar, or you may find someone totally different that may actually be more of your type. Remember that there are a lot of people out there. The world is a huge place, and it’s all yours to explore now.

It’s cliche to say time will heal all things, but it’s true. It will. The sadness, disappointment, anger and everything in between will fade away and you will move on eventually, just like everyone does.

Do realise where you went wrong in the relationship. This is an important step in the healing process. When you can admit to and realise your mistake, you will strive to improve yourself and make things better. Going into a new relationship, it helps knowing that you’ve corrected the flaws that caused your previous breakup.

This healing period is also the time for you to rely on your friends. Pour out your feelings, cry if you have to, let it all out. True friends will be there for you in your time of need.

Lastly, self improvement is vital. There’s nothing better than your ex seeing the person they broke up with become a successful, attractive and confident person. It might make them regret breaking up with you in the first place. Take good care of yourself, eat right, watch your appearance, travel, learn a new skill, meet new people. When you look good, you feel good, and it exudes in the way you interact with others.

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