Ultimate life hack : finding the right partner in life
Key takeaways from the video : (In a Singapore context)
- Men are really bad at understanding family law
For men looking to get married, it pays to read and understand how the Singapore legal system works for divorces. Especially important to take note of is the women’s charter. The women’s charter in Singapore exists to protect and advance the rights women and girls here. Look it up, understand it and take notes of important points that are more relevant to you, e.g custody and alimony.
They say you truly don’t know anyone until you get married, or divorced. While this is true to a large extent, it defeats the purpose of being able to choose the right person in life. We want to know that person is the right one for us before we get married to them. This can be done by spending lots of time with them, and doing activities that require some sort of teamwork and cooperation, such as travelling, sporting activities, or even games that require you to work in pairs.
- If you get married, do it on your terms
This could be difficult because marriage requires cooperation and understanding from both sides. Do not insist on having things done your way, but just make sure that you are not getting ‘cheated’ in the terms of the marriage. If the new arrangements or lifestyle you lead after marriage feel like a burden rather than make you happy, you should reconsider it.
For men, this could mean not being able to buy that car you’ve always wanted, or having that dream gaming station in your home. Assess and balance your wants and needs, which brings me to the next point of the video :
- She should complement you, not be the focus of your life.
This also applies to women! What it means is that you have your own life to lead, and you should live that life. Your actions and the things going on in your life should not revolve around that person. If you constantly have to do something you’d rather not do for him/her, or are finding yourself at their mercy, it is time to evaluate the relationship. If you are putting them ahead of other aspects of your life, which in turn means you are compromising your relationship with family and friends to satisfy their needs, then think of why you are doing it and if it’s worth it.
- If things are not going well before marriage, it won’t after.
If you are constantly arguing, disagreeing or having conflicts, then it might be a red flag to get out of the relationship. Before marriage, things are simpler. The commitment level is not as great, and you have more freedom and flexibility. When things can’t even work at this level, chances are it won’t work after marriage.
Marriage means being legally bound, and being a part of his/her family. If you can’t handle them without all these other factors, how are you going to make things work after marriage when they get involved?
We will look at the other points of this video in another article.