When it seems like there are no options left to make a marriage work, divorce might be the only way to go. However, before deciding to divorce, you should definitely ask yourself if you need it in the first place.
This is because while divorce itself is a difficult experience, life can be even more challenging after the divorce is finalised. This is due to changes in living situations, and is affected by factors such as children, finances and so on.
Generally, there are 3 types of dilemmas people face when considering divorce :
- “I want the divorce, but I am not sure if this is the right decision.” People in this category have a lot of doubts about their divorce. They are unsure if they can cope with the divorce process, or life after the divorce. This can be because they are dependant on their spouse, or are very cautious and like being on the safe side.
Furthermore, people in this group might be unsure because they may not have done everything possible to get the marriage to work. There are doubts lingering because they might be thinking “what if i had done this, or what if i hold on for awhile more”.
- “My spouse wants a divorce, not me.” This is probably the hardest situation to be in. The person you married no longer wants to be with you, so on top of the emotional pain, you still have to deal with the legal aspects of divorce. You might feel like a lost and helpless victim, but do not let this weigh you down.
There are still ways to make the marriage work. And it’s not by being passive and cold towards your partner, as that will only make them resent you further. Find out the actual reasons why your partner wants to separate, and try to look at things from their point of view. The only way to work this out is to sit down and talk, and not stray even further from your partner by moving out, being unresponsive or giving them the cold shoulder.
- “I want to divorce my partner, and I want to do it now”. Few people fall into this category, because not many people have this level of confidence and conviction in their actions. Those who do, are extremely sure and usually seek the fastest way to divorce. They want to get out of the marriage as soon as possible and are willing to do whatever it takes, as they have had it with the marriage.
Whatever your situation is, it is extremely important that you are sure of what you’re doing. Divorce is a life-changing event, and your life after the divorce will never be the same. Your children will be forced to adapt to new environments, your lifestyle will change (for better or worse), and your relationships with people will be affected (especially with your partner’s family and friends).
If you do decide to proceed, it is a good idea to talk things out with your partner and opt for an uncontested divorce. Uncontested divorces are where the terms of the divorce have been agreed upon by the couple (such as division of assets, custody of children etc.) and therefore the divorce process is significantly faster than contested divorces.
Couples can also save a lot of money by going through this route, and get the divorce finalized faster so they can move on with their lives.
LawyerSearch – Divorce Lawyers in Singapore